Ted and I were part of the Barbenheimer crowd: we saw the movies “Oppenheimer” and “Barbie.” Technically, I think a true Barbenheimer watches the movies as a double feature on the same day; Ted and I watched them on two consecutive days. There is controversy over which film to watch first/second. We went to “Oppenheimer” first and saved “Barbie” for dessert to end the double feature on a lighthearted note.

Both films have received widespread acclaim and we enjoyed both of them. Neither film was what I expected to see. I expected “Oppenheimer” to be a World War II movie ending with the atomic bomb dropping on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and I thought “Barbie” would be pure fluff. I was wrong about both movies.

“Oppenheimer” was indeed set during World War II, but its underlying message (to me, at least) was the two moral dilemmas scientists and decision-makers face: (1) When science makes new discoveries, how far should it go if the results can be used for either good (cancer cures, exploration of the solar system, energy production) or evil (total destruction of our planet); and (2) Is the greater good (ending World War II and saving thousands of lives) worth great sacrifice (dropping the atomic bomb and taking thousands of lives)? I found this a very thought-provoking movie and the three hours in the theater went by quickly.

My first “Barbie” surprise came before the movie even started: there was a nearly equal number of men and women in the theater. I’m pretty sure Ted only came along because I wanted to see the movie (I did not wear anything pink), but he enjoyed it too. Those two hours also passed quickly. Rather than being portrayed as a dumb blonde, Barbie had many identities including President Barbie, Writer Barbie, Physicist Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Lawyer Barbie, etc., etc. Ken, on the other hand, was “just Ken.” As the movie tagline put it: “She’s everything. He’s just Ken.” Ken, however, didn’t care and was content with himself and with being an appendage of Barbie. The movie definitely had a feminist dynamic. In the real world, as opposed to Barbie-land, women are taught that having everything is impossible without compromise, and the point of the movie was summed up in America Ferrara’s monologue (below) which can be found online.

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.

It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, than I don’t even know.

Oscars have been mentioned for both movies, and (again, in my opinion) both are Oscar nomination worthy.