I worked for the Bureau of the Census for three years as a writer-editor. In those days, we didn’t have word processors or spell/grammar check, so before submitting a text for publication, we proofread it in detail, including capitalization, bold/italic fonts, font size, punctuation, and spelling. Our goal was to publish a letter- and word-perfect document. Today, that goal is apparently unimportant, but even after all these years, I still read like an editor and I can’t help catching textual errors.

For example, the historic district of St. Charles offers ghost tours, and one of their posters says: “Haunted House. Twilight tours after dark.” The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines twilight as “the light of the sky between sunset and full night.” It defines dark as “devoid of light.” In other words, it’s impossible to have a “twilight” tour after “dark.” Merriam-Webster defines evening as “the final part of the day and the early part of the night.” That’s probably a better description of the tour time. Just knowing it’s a ghost tour pretty much tells visitors when it will occur, so I doubt if anyone except me notices (or cares about) that error.

I was astronomically mystified when I was reading a book in which the author told the reader that “It was already late June, so the days were getting longer.” The summer solstice, when the sun is at its highest in the northern hemisphere, is usually on June 21. After that, the days get shorter, not longer. Luckily, that error didn’t affect the plot of the story.

During my employment years, I worked with the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE). I once received a letter from the head of the department thanking me for my “patients.” That letter was generated on a computer in the early 2000s, but spell/grammar check doesn’t always catch homonyms if a word is spelled correctly. In my opinion, that error looked really bad, coming from the department that oversees the public K-12 school system, which includes the teaching of vocabulary, grammar, and spelling. I practiced my patience, because there were no patients working in my local program.

Most confusing to me recently was the care tag in a shirt I bought. The tag said “Reversible garment. Turn inside out to wash.” If it’s reversible, which side is the inside? I just threw it in the washer and it came out clean.

We have a 93-year-old lady in our neighborhood who has been a lifelong Cardinals fan. A few weeks ago, several members of her family invited her to go with them to a Cardinals home game. I don’t know which of the family arranged it, but the seats were in one of the luxury boxes with air-conditioning, food, and all the other high-end amenities. (Maybe someone’s employer had a corporate box.) Peggy was reluctant to go, but the family convinced her that she’d enjoy the evening. She finally agreed, but said she was going to take her 60-year-old jacket with her. The temperatures were in the 90s during the day and in the mid- and upper-80s for the game, so that announcement brought a lot of protests, but Peggy insisted, and she wore her jacket.

The evening was such a success that Peggy didn’t stop talking about it for days, and she still brings it up in conversation. First, the luxury box seat tickets got the group through a special gate without a line. Peggy had her jacket on, and the gate attendant stopped her to chat, complimented the jacket, and asked her for her name. During the conversation (no line–remember?), Peggy mentioned that, although she used to attend games regularly, she hadn’t been to any in the new stadium, which opened in 2004.

As the group moved toward the private elevator that took them to their luxury box seats, lots of people stopped Peggy to talk about her jacket and many of them asked permission to take their picture with her. (She said, “Yes.”) One man offered to buy the jacket from her, but she told him, “No way!” Another man, standing nearby, offered to marry her to get a specific pin on her jacket. She turned him down too. 🙂 The luxury box was a treat and, before long, there was another surprise for Peggy: her name appeared on the jumbotron, along with the information that this was her first time in the new ballpark. Right after that, her son’s family and her grandchildren called her from Kansas City to say they were watching the game and saw her name in lights. She said she felt like a celebrity, and it was the most exciting night of her life. I talked with Peggy the day after the game and asked if she was tired from the late night. “Not at all,” she said, “I’m way too excited to be tired!”

Here’s what all the excitement was about. It was a lot of fun to read all the pins and to recognize so many of the great Cardinals players–especially those from the “Whitey-ball” era.

A few days later, Peggy had another surprise. The Cardinals sent her a framed certificate to commemorate her first time at the new ballpark.

Several of us in the neighborhood had a little party for Peggy’s 93rd birthday this week. We kept it simple–ice cream sundaes, brownies, and talk–and we all saw her Cardinals’ certificate on the kitchen table. She’s still excited about the ballgame she didn’t want to attend. Isn’t it great to be 93 and still having that much fun–including a marriage proposal at a ball game? Long live Peggy!

I didn’t start playing Wordle right away, but I loved it the first time I tried it, and I’ve been playing it ever since. In March, I saw an article online that said the longest winning streak was 968. According to the article, the average number of tries to solve Wordle is four, and that’s true for me as well. I don’t try to guess the word before starting. I just play to solve the puzzle, not to solve it in x number of tries, so I don’t care if it takes all six tries to do it.

My statistics are a little skewed because I started playing before The New York Times bought the game, but according to the current online chart, I’ve solved one puzzle in 2 tries (lucky); 133 puzzles in 3 tries (which, according to the article, takes “skill, finesse, and intellect”); 222 puzzles in 4 tries (average); 145 puzzles in 5 tries (whew!); and 38 puzzles in 6 tries (nerve-wracking). I frequently solve the puzzle in under 30 seconds, but there have been a few puzzles I had to set aside for a few hours before taking a fresh look at them to “see” the word that will fit. Wordle now offers hints, but I don’t use them–that would spoil the fun.

I’m disappointed in my streak record. Twice, NYT has ended my streak when I clearly remember playing the previous day. The longest streak they give me credit for is 457 days, which isn’t shabby. There’s no trophy for the longest streak, so no big worries there. At least they don’t mess with my 100 percent solving success record!

I keep a running record of my solutions, which comes in handy when there are multiple possible words that fit (prune/prone, crush/crash, terse/tense, etc.) and only a limited number of tries to choose the right one. I’m amazed at the number of five-letter words in the English language.

How long is it until midnight when the tomorrow’s puzzle will be released?

One day, as I was waiting for the traffic light to change to green, an unusual car pulled up in the adjoining lane. It was a marvel to see, and it’s too bad it didn’t stop a little farther back so I could take a picture of it from the side. Except for a space just large enough for the driver to operate the car, the entire car was filled with trash. Even the windshield in front of the driver had trash on the dashboard up to the driver’s sight-line. The interior of the car–front and back seats–was tightly packed with trash and so was the trunk. I have no idea if this was a temporary situation, the driver’s lifestyle, or a contest entry, but I’ve never before seen such a trash-filled car.

Do you ever think about how many things are arranged in alphabetic order? In many instances, this arrangement keeps things orderly and makes them easy to find, but does alphabetic order ever seem unfair to you when your turn in line is determined by the first letter of your last name? I’ll guess that if your last name begins with a letter in the first part of the alphabet, your answer is “no.” My last name began closer to the end of the alphabet, so my answer is “yes.”

I attended a small, rural, two-room elementary school. Depending on the year, there were 50-60 students in eight grades, with grades 1-4 in one room and grades 5-8 in the other. Our school had a small library consisting of three shelves that stretched across the back of each classroom. The library included a full set of encyclopedias and several dictionaries, so that diminished the space available for recreational reading materials during one’s four years in that classroom. Because this was true of so many schools in our largely rural county, the county provided a “traveling library.” The county school superintendent and his/her assistant made the rounds of all the rural schools every two weeks to exchange packing boxes filled with about 30 books. In a round-robin pattern, each classroom in each school exchanged its current box of books for a box with a different selection of books that came from a different school.

I have always loved to read and I finish books quickly, so I was always impatient and eager for the traveling library to bring a new box of books to our school. Unfortunately for me, my teacher believed that the fairest way to distribute the new books while keeping order in the classroom was to allow a few students at a time to make their one-book selection. This was done in alphabetic order, always beginning with the “A’s.” I lived in an area of Dutchmen, many of whose names began with De-capital letter-remainder of last name, such as DeBlaey, DeMaster, etc., and my last name began with “S.” Those early-alpha kids always had the first pick of the traveling library books and I was always in the last group to make a selection. The traveling library rules said that when you finished reading the book you selected, you put it back into the box and then had the option to choose a different book from the box. The early-alpha kids frequently failed to finish their selected books in the two-week exchange period, so their selections didn’t make it back to the box until the exchange day, and I rarely had a chance to read everything I wanted to read.

Alphabetically, things changed for me when I enrolled in a large university (35,000 students). Class enrollment was open for several days each semester, and was available in alphabetic order. Naturally, those who were in the first alphabetic group were nearly always able to enroll in whichever course/day/time they chose while those in the last group usually had to make some course/day/time adjustments. BUT, the alphabetic groups changed order each semester. I don’t remember the exact groupings, but if, for example, A-G had first choice this semester, they moved to the #3 spot the following semester; group H-P moved to #1; and Q-Z moved to #2. In this way, once every three semesters, everyone had a chance to be first, second, or third in course selection. What could be more fair while still maintaining order and a manageable number of students enrolling at a given time? There may be other entities that do this, but I’ve never encountered or heard of them, so this was a happy revelation to me as a college freshman, and it’s certainly more fair than always giving the “A’s” first choice and the “Z’s” last choice.

I recently read that the double-space at the end of a sentence is no longer the rule in typing. I assume that’s because electronic devices automatically insert a single space following a period, and it’s easier to change the rule than to fight the power of all the electronic devices.

I, however, learned to type a long time ago and was taught the double-space protocol. How long ago? Well, because I was such a fast typist (I have a high school award pin for “Fastest Typist”), I was assigned to one of the three new electric typewriters in our high school typing classroom. Woo-ee! In fact, at that time, only the IBM Selectric typewriter with the letter ball in place of individual keys could keep up with me without getting tangled. After all these years, tapping the space bar twice at the end of a sentence is so automatic for me that it slows me down to have to remember to tap it only once or to go back and delete the extra space. I’m just going to continue tapping the space bar twice after each sentence I type and let the electronic devices do their thing.

If you’re checking for double spaces after periods in this post, you won’t find them because, even though I tap the space bar twice, WordPress autocorrects me and uses only a single space. The exception is if I compose something in Word (or another format) and copy it to WordPress to post.

You can’t fight the power of big media, and you can’t fight a long-term and harmless habit either. Let’s hear it for double-spacing at the end of a sentence!

P.S. My “Fastest Typist” pin said “70 wpm” but I typed faster than that. The pins weren’t available for any speed above 70 wpm.

Due to strong solar storms, a large portion of the United States had a rare opportunity to view the northern lights this spring. Friends and family from a number of states posted photos showing the stunning display. Ted and I drove north of the city to a dark field to see the show and this is what was visible to us. It was definitely underwhelming!

On our way home, we saw red and green lights overhead and Ted said, “There they are! The northern lights!”

On August 21, 2017, Ted and I, Kathy and Annette, and Kari and Dylan saw a total solar eclipse. In spite of weather forecasts for clear skies in Columbia, MO–halfway between Kathy and Annette and the rest of us–thunderstorms moved in, and we re-located eastward to Warrenton, MO to view that eclipse. It was so amazing, we decided right then to reserve April 8, 2024 for another family eclipse viewing.

It doesn’t seem possible that we made those plans seven years ago, but we followed through and planned a day in Perryville, MO for this event. Our same group gathered, and Theo joined us. In 2017, he decided to settle for the near-total eclipse at home with his school classmates, but the rest of us raved so much about the totality that Theo has also been looking forward to the 2024 eclipse for seven years–nearly half his lifetime!

Once again, weather adjustments had to be made for this eclipse, although not by our group. Early information advised the nation that, of the 15 U.S. states in the totality zone, Texas was the most likely to be clear in April; the Midwest was iffy, but was likely to be cloudy; and New England was likely to be overcast. In real time, Texas was overcast with thunderstorms in the forecast, and the Midwest and New England were clear. Lucky us!

We liked the way we viewed the eclipse last time in a small park in a small city with a picnic lunch, so we wanted to do that again. Ted and I made a trip to Perryville and to Jackson a few weeks ago to scope out the parks, the bathroom facilities, the viewing spaces, and the parking. Perryville City Park was the winner, so this time, we went to a small city (pop. 8,500), but a large park. It took Ted and me less than two hours to make the scouting drive to Perryville, but there were lots of advance warnings on newscasts and on electronic highway message boards in our area to expect heavy traffic on April 8–eclipse day. We decided an early start was the way to go. We all brought food to share and got an early start to Perryville, leaving home just after 7:30 a.m. for the 1:58 p.m. totality event.

That worked out well. The drive to Perryville on the Big Day took three hours instead of less than two hours, and the traffic was definitely heavier than usual, but it moved along at near the speed limit, and we arrived in plenty of time to easily find a parking spot. Unbelievable! As we were parking our two cars, Ted and I saw our next-door neighbors! We emptied our car trunks, selected our viewing area, and then relaxed for a little while and ate our picnic lunch before the start of the eclipse.

Some nearby eclipse viewers wanted a group photo of themselves and I offered to take it so that everyone in their group could be in the picture. They returned the favor for us.

Before we knew it, the time was 12:30 p.m.–the start of the eclipse. We checked the sky and, sure enough, there was a little bite out of the sun at about five o’clock. Repeated progress checks showed the moon blocking more and more of the sun. Our excitement level was rising. We had some high, thin clouds, but the eclipse was clearly visible through our eclipse glasses. It’s hard to believe, but I took this photo at the 50 percent point.

Between 50 and 75 percent of totality, the light in the park noticeably dimmed and became weird. Even in the sunshine, the blankets we were sitting on felt cool to the touch, there was a sudden cool breeze, and the temperature dropped 8-10 degrees–enough to make us feel chilly.

I put my eclipse glasses over my camera lens and took this picture at about 90 percent totality. The sun is so bright that even a mere 10 percent looks like this. I was hoping the eclipse glasses might show a clear view of the dark moon covering the sun, but cell phones aren’t that good yet. By this time we were all lying on our backs to get the best view of the sky; birds were quieting down; and outdoor lights had come on.

Shortly after this, the only visible part of the sun was a thin crescent, similar to a new moon. At that point, we could watch the crescent become smaller and smaller. As the eclipse approached totality, the park filled with excited voices (including ours), there was an instant of a bright flash when the moon completely blocked the sun from view (the diamond ring), and in that instant, it was as if someone turned off the light switch. Near the end of the video, my camera view becomes erratic because I changed position from lying on my back to sitting up and I forgot my video was still recording. Turn on your sound to hear the excitement, and to watch the sun’s light dim.

In the video, my cell phone camera shows totality as a bright white circle with a black dot in the center. What we really saw was a full moon-size pitch-black circle surrounded by a strong bright white ring, surrounded by the wispy white corona of the sun. I looked online for pictures that matched what we saw, but I didn’t find any. We (including our resident meteorologist) concluded that the strong white ring was a result of the high clouds over the sun in Perryville. Whatever caused that ring, it was a breathtaking, beautiful sight and the high point of our day. Totality in Perryville lasted a few seconds less than 4 minutes, so we had time to look around and enjoy it. Even so, it ended too soon. Here’s a picture of us in the dark. It’s 2:00 p.m. and the parking lot light is on in the background.

And here’s another picture during totality, but with the camera automatically adjusting the light for a “better” (?) picture.

I took a video of the 360-degree sunset during totality.

About five minutes after totality passed and the sun began to appear, we saw the weirdly-colored sunlight again. It looked like a storm was coming, except that the sky was blue.

When about 30 percent of the sun became visible, things looked more normal, and the sun looked bright again.

We stayed until the sun was fully exposed and then joined the crowds on our way home. Again, traffic moved steadily, just as it did on our way to Perryville–but at 2-7 mph for three hours. We were excited to move forward at 10 mph for an occasional quarter mile before braking again. After three hours of this, we saw a gas station right beside I-55 and decided to stop. It took 15-20 minutes to drive down the exit ramp and cross I-55–about one-quarter mile. There were at least 100+ cars at the gas station and the bathroom line reached the convenience store door with people constantly arriving. This is about half of the gas station parking lot. You can see the backed-up traffic on the road in the right center of the picture. All four directions of this intersection were backed up like that. (Photo credit to Kari for this picture.)

We opened our ice chests and had a snack to fortify ourselves for the rest of our drive, then spent another 15-20 minutes getting back onto I-55. After another hour of slow, but steady, progress–we’d covered 50 miles in 4 hours!–we reached Festus, where I-55 adds a third lane (St. Louis metro area) and were finally able to travel near the speed limit for our last hour home, arriving at about 8:30 p.m. Kathy and Annette live about 3 hours beyond us, but encountered an accident that halted traffic on I-70, so they didn’t get home until 12:30 a.m.

All of us agreed that, if we’d known in advance how bad the traffic would be, we would still go to the eclipse. In 2017, we saw an amazing total solar eclipse, but this one was so-o-o-o much better! It was worth every minute of the experience–even the heavy traffic. The next total solar eclipse will be on August 12, 2026 and will be visible in Iceland. It might be worth making the trip.

P.S.

To celebrate the eclipse, Ted saw this picture of an eclipse snack on the National Weather Service Employees Facebook page. Start at the bottom with the full “sun” and move counterclockwise around the plate to view the Oreo eclipse.

This man builds four different shadow figures. There’s a musical accompaniment with a narrative as well, so turn on the sound.

Every year, the Missouri Botanical Garden offers a holiday light display called “Garden Glow.” Ted and I decided we should experience it before the lights were turned off on January 6. It was a calm, crisp January evening and we had a beautiful holiday walk in the park (literally).

Everything seems to eventually become an abbreviation these days, and this event was no exception. At the entrance to the garden, the decorators assumed “Garden” and simply announced the display as “Glow.” All of the light displays were prettier than the pictures. In addition, pretty instrumental music played softly throughout the garden all the while we walked.

From a distance, this looked like a wall of hanging lights. As we came closer, we saw that it was a number of individual large trees with strings of lights hanging from their branches.

This display changed color every few seconds.

The Botanical Garden has a hedge maze all year, and it was decorated with lights for the holidays. Past experience has taught me that I get claustrophobic and panicky in mazes, so I avoid them. In this case, I figured it couldn’t be too bad to walk through it because the building where I stood to take the photo on the right was at the entrance, and I could always see it from within the maze. All I had to do to get out was head toward that building. It worked. Ted and I walked through the maze and I could always see which direction to go to get out. The downside was that there were no visible shortcuts, so it took a long time to navigate the twists and turns to get to the exit. It was fun to be wandering between walls of holiday lights with other people also working their way through the maze.

These tree displays also changed colors every few seconds. No matter which color they were, the lights were beautiful.

A projector decorated this building differently about every 30 seconds. We watched for almost twenty minutes, and didn’t see a repeated projection, so we walked on.

This was my favorite display. The picture looks a little eerie, but the blue lights on the huge tree had a magical quality in person. I almost expected to see Christmas fairies.

It was a beautiful winter night and there were fire bowls and refreshment stands with warm beverages throughout the park. Ted and I were dressed warmly and had a wonderful time. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

‘Twas the month of Christmas, and all through the house there were things to be done. I always enjoy having our house decorated for Christmas and eating cookies and candy that, for unknown reasons, we only make at Christmas time. One of my favorite decorations is this tatted mobile that Ted’s mother made.

Thom and I have a Christmas tradition of giving each other a miniature Lego set each year. Based on the price and the online photo, I selected a Santa sleigh and reindeer set for Thom. I thought it was so cute, I ordered one for myself too. The eight bags of pieces I found when I opened the box was my first clue that this was not a miniature set. I think I should have also checked the number of pieces in the set–390!

This set far out-sized the miniatures Thom and I usually exchange. (See the photo on the right, below.) As a result, I had to display it with something larger to keep it from looking like Will Ferrell beside the other elves in “Elf.”

Kathy and Annette invited us to spend Christmas in Kirksville with them. (That sounds like a Hallmark Christmas movie, doesn’t it?) They had a pretty little Christmas tree in the living room.

On Christmas Day, we all wore our Christmas socks. Ted decided to show a little leg; we women were more modest.

Santa was good to us. Ted was happy with a Dairy Queen gift card and a plastic banana split–a symbol of one of his favorite sundaes.

I was thrilled to discover a soft and cozy fleece shirt in my gift-wrapped box.

Kathy’s cat kitchen towel made us laugh.

Annette said the over-sized “Crazy Cat Lady” mug was the perfect gift for her. The towel cat looks less certain of that.

We all pitched in to put Christmas dinner on the table. Annette (the vegetarian) roasted a perfect turkey. What a shame she didn’t eat any of it–it was delicious! Ted poured the wine, and a pumpkin turtle pie was a perfect finish for the meal.

After a long weekend in Kirksville, Kari invited us to join her family for Christmas in St. Charles (another Hallmark movie). It was a happy gathering with a delicious dinner and more gifts for everyone.

I attended one more holiday gathering with some fellow retirees from the college. We enjoyed lunch together and several hours of good conversation. We didn’t do a gift exchange and we had separate checks for lunch, but the holiday spirit was definitely with us. Left to right are me, Liz, Heather, Paula, Terri, and Paula’s husband, Bill. Kathy, Cindy, Elaine, and Yvonne were unable to join us. Bill didn’t say much. He might have been out-talked by five women.

Christmas 2023 is now in the past. The decorations have been put away and the candy and cookies are (nearly) gone. Here’s a picture of my mini Lego tree from Thom. I’m getting discouraged asking for world peace every year, but hope springs eternal, so my holiday wish is once again for peace on earth and good will toward all in 2024.

Dewey’s is Ted’s and my favorite pizza restaurant, and we go there often because we both like pizza. In December, we received an email from Kyle, one of Dewey’s managers.

The next time we were at Dewey’s, we were presented with a bag bearing a gift tag with our name on it. The manager who gave it to us (not Kyle) thanked us for our patronage and mentioned that we were one of their top five customers in 2023. (We like pizza a lot.) We thanked him for the gift bag, but waited until we were home to open it. Our gift was two Dewey’s glasses and a $50 Dewey’s gift certificate. Even better than pizza is free pizza!

Over the years, when I’ve checked into various places, I’ve discovered that there are other women with the same first and last names as mine. One time, I asked the check-in person how many other people shared my name on her list and she said, “Five.” Just the other day, I asked again and the registrar said, “Eight.” Wow!

When my kids were little, I took Jeff to the pediatrician for something or other, and the nurse needed clarification about which Diane and Jeff we were because there was another mother who shared my name and had a son named Jeff. During a recent (flattering) check-in experience, the check-in lady asked me to re-verify my birthdate. I told her I know there are other women with the same name as mine, but I didn’t know I shared a birthdate with any of them. “Oh, no,” she said, “you don’t. You just didn’t look that old.” 🙂

In all the time I’ve known about these name doppelgangers, I’ve never met one until (drum roll, please) my last haircut appointment. When I checked in, the check-in lady asked if I was with Donna or Michelle (the stylists). I said “Donna.” She replied that her computer showed me scheduled with Michelle. Then she noticed that I was listed with both Donna and Michelle. At that moment, another woman spoke up and said she had an appointment with Michelle, and we all realized that the other woman and I had the same first and last names.

Here I am with my name twin. We were seated in side-by-side chairs while we waited for Donna and Michelle, so we chatted with each other and decided we should have a photo of ourselves. You can see Donna and Michelle in the mirror behind us. Donna is taking the picture.

Today, there was serendipity at the salon.

One of our gallery pictures of our grandson has always hung crooked, no matter what I did to straighten it. One day, I decided to weight the picture with pennies. Unfortunately, between Ted and me, we only had one penny, and that turned out to be insufficient. The picture still hung crooked.

I mentioned this little problem at a family gathering and said I thought I needed another two cents. The conversation moved on, but after a few minutes, Dylan re-entered the room and handed me two cents. Thank you, Dylan!

I added Dylan’s pennies to the back of the picture and it still didn’t hang straight, so I tried a nickel. That didn’t help, so I moved up to a quarter. That helped a little. When I added a second quarter, the picture hung straight.

I don’t think I’ve ever added more than two cents to a picture, but this one was a 53-cent job. The bottom corner of the picture butted up against the door frame. I wonder how far it would have tilted if the door frame didn’t stop it. Well, at least it’s finally straight and this little guy’s picture is no longer cockeyed.

Ted and I had to clear our walls for the painters in Fall 2022. We were both tired of looking at the same old things on the walls, so we decided that we would only re-hang the things we missed looking at. One of the things we missed looking at was a two-piece sculpture. It’s not an easy thing to hang. The two pieces need to be properly aligned; they are heavy and awkward to handle; and the design pieces have sharp corners. An added challenge is that it needs to be hung on eight irregularly arranged hangers.

I decided that a template would probably avoid repeated trial-and-error efforts, so we spread some large, taped-together sheets of paper on the basement floor and properly aligned the sculpture pieces on them. Then we marked where the irregular hangers were so we’d know where to put the nails into the wall. The hangers are welded to the sculpture frame, but the frame does not extend to the edges of the sculpture. That provided another challenge: deciding where to place the template on the wall so that the sculpture would hang where we wanted it to be. We worked with the outside measurements of the sculpture and the template to determine the center, transferred those measurements to the wall, and then taped the template to the wall.

Instead of pounding the nails all the way in on the template markings, I tapped them just hard enough to make a visible dent in the drywall. Then we removed the template and put in four of the eight nails we needed–just enough to hold the sculpture temporarily–before hanging the sculpture to check its placement. It looked good, so we took it down and hammered in the other four nails. Now the sculpture is securely hung and the placement looks good. Nice work, if I do say so myself.

Question: What kind of shoes does an optometrist wear?

Answer: “Seeing eye” shoes. Really. This is what my optometrist was wearing at my appointment.

Back in September, the U.S. Marine Corps literally lost (as in couldn’t find) one of its aircraft in South Carolina. The F-35 Lightning II stealth fighter jet went missing after the pilot ejected. The plane flew about 60 miles without its pilot and then crashed into a wooded area. The Marine Corps ordered a two-day stand down while they searched for the jet.

According to CNN, Rep. Nancy Mace of South Caroline wrote on X “How in the hell do you lose an F-35? How is there not a tracking device and we’re asking the public to what, find a jet and turn it in?”

Here’s an idea from Walt Handelsman, a cartoonist.

Thanks to the kitchen update, the basement workshop got an update too. The last time we updated our kitchen, we selected some of the old, to-be-removed cabinets from the kitchen and had them moved to the workshop for neater storage down there.

The cabinets pictured below were original to the house, and are now 44 years old. They show their age and the drawers no longer work very well. Naturally, the upper cabinet is installed (i.e., fastened to the wall). The lower three pieces, however, are just set in place against the wall with the countertop pieces simply resting on the cabinet tops, making those pieces easy to move. Not surprisingly, we never moved them. The PVC pipe drains the washing machine above, so the cabinets were placed separately on each side of it. The dark portions of the cabinet sides are the original color of the cabinets. I hated that dark color when we bought the house, so I stripped the cabinets and stained them lighter. The dark areas were against adjacent cabinets, so those portions didn’t get stripped. You can see the raw edge of the Formica countertop in the center. That countertop wasn’t originally on that cabinet; the workers at the time cut it to fit.

This was the workshop in the basement, so we didn’t need or expect beautiful cabinetry. We were satisfied for many years, but with new cabinets coming to the kitchen, it was the perfect time to replace these worn-out cabinets with something only half their age.

When our kitchen crew, Christian and Craig, removed the upper cabinets in the workshop, they noticed mold and some ceiling tile damage. That must have developed years ago when the washer hose broke and sent a full load of water to the basement floor–gallons of wash water and more gallons of rinse water. I left the washer running while I was away from home, so I wasn’t there to immediately turn off the water. Oops! What a mess that was to clean up! Since the cabinets were installed before the washer hose ruptured, we couldn’t dry the water or remove the ceiling tiles above them, and we couldn’t see the resulting damage. As a result, the water absorbed by the ceiling tiles in that area dried slowly enough to develop mold. It’s a good thing Christian and Craig could repair it now.

I expected the same kind of installation from Christian and Craig as we had last time: attach the upper cabinet to the wall, put the lower ones in place, and cut the countertop(s) to fit. Wow! Was I surprised!

These guys didn’t put the cabinets in the basement; they installed them. They leveled everything and fastened every cabinet to its adjacent wall and to its adjacent cabinet. To hide the drainpipe space needed between the cabinets, the guys cut a spacer from a flat wood panel taken from a to-be-trashed cabinet from the kitchen, and inserted the spacer between the cabinet sections (arrow). None of the removed countertop pieces was long enough for the entire lower surface, so the right portion has a backsplash and the left portion doesn’t. To make a continuous countertop around the drainpipe, Christian cut a half-circle into the back edge of the countertop and joined the two pieces with a nearly invisible seam sealed with clear caulk. The back edge is also caulked along the wall. All of those details make the four lower cabinet pieces look like a single unit. Compare the photo below with the top photo above. Attention to detail makes a big difference!

Speaking of details, . . . The over-the-top thing the guys did in the basement was to cover the exposed end of the upper cabinet with a trim piece (below). It’s not a perfect fit, but, like the spacer and the continuous countertop, I didn’t expect that level of detail in the workshop. Craig cut the piece from one of the old, matching cabinet doors and attached it to make the upper cabinet look nice from the side. Uh, that would be the side that faces the storage room. Doesn’t everyone want to see a beautifully finished workshop cabinet edge from the storage room?! Christian and Craig certainly do!

I expected these repurposed cabinets to look a lot like the previous ones, but in better condition. Instead, I feel like we ought to do something special in this room to justify such nice cabinetry. When I repeatedly complimented Christian and Craig on how beautiful the cabinets looked, they kind of shrugged as if to say, “How else would we have done it?” and Craig said, “Well, I like my workshop nice.” Obviously, it could have been done as simply as the previous crew did with the previous cabinets, but that’s not how these guys roll.

When we emptied all of our living area rooms for painting and carpeting in Fall 2022, we got rid of so many things, that we removed shelving and still have extra shelf space. The same was true when we refilled the “new” basement cabinets–we have extra space in our updated workshop. I wonder how long it will take us to fill all the empty shelf space we now have throughout the house. There’s a saying that the more countertop you have, the more things you set on it. I’ll bet the same is true for closets and shelves.

Our kitchen update project included some changes to bring our kitchen from its circa 2000 look to the 2020s era of design. Most of the changes were optional. One was not.

One evening last spring, while Ted and I were eating dinner, the chandelier we installed when we updated our kitchen 20+ years ago abruptly turned itself off. Everything looked good when we checked the breakers and the light switch connection. We tested the five light bulbs in another lamp and they all worked fine. In August 2022, we had the electrical box for this light moved to center it over the kitchen table. We wondered if there might be a problem with the installation, and felt nervous about using a light that might have wiring problems. I called our electrician, and he assured me that, as long as the switch was turned off, we were not in danger of an electrical fire. We planned to replace the chandelier with a new one during our kitchen update, but now we had a sense of urgency to shop.

We bought a new chandelier and called the electrician to install it. When he removed the damaged light from the ceiling connection, he found the problem. The installer who moved the kitchen table light in 2022 (same company) pinched some wires with a screw when he attached the chandelier to the electrical box, and that eventually broke the wire. You can see the damage indicated by the arrows in the photo below. After installing the new light, the electrician prepared to leave and informed us there was no charge for the service. The company, he said, stands behind its work and we lost a chandelier due to their error. He even offered $100 toward our new light.

While he left his work area to get some other tools, the electrician let the (relatively heavy) new chandelier hang by a wire designed to hold the fixture during the installation process (left). I’d have been nervous about doing that, but it worked just fine. We used a 1980s vintage pole lamp from the basement (in the corner, left photo) for table lighting while we shopped and waited for the new chandelier installation. The right photo shows the new chandelier, properly attached to the ceiling.

In addition to the new chandelier, we made a number of other changes to our kitchen design. There weren’t a lot of home devices to charge in the late 1990s when we last updated our kitchen, so one of our kitchen outlets used to look like the left photo. All of those plugs are inserted into a six-gang tree with 2 USB chargers which, in turn, is plugged into a two-gang outlet. Twenty-some years later, we had a six-gang outlet with built-in chargers installed to accommodate our current needs at that location. Much neater.

Instead of our Bed, Bath & Beyond silverware tray, we now have a two-tiered built-in silverware tray in this drawer.

All of the lower cabinets have drawers instead of shelves. Now it’s much easier to put things away and to get them out because we don’t have to remove the items in the front to extract an item from the back.

We added a drawer to the island so that we can store placements and napkins conveniently near the table.

In our last kitchen update, the island backsplash matched the countertop. This time, we matched it to the backsplash over the cabinets.

Some of our previous cabinets had a matching flat panel on the exposed sides. This time, we added a trim panel to all the exposed sides, even in the corner where we keep the stool.

We replaced our Corian sink with a composite one. The Corian sink was still in great shape, but could not be removed from the surrounding Corian countertops, since they were poured together. Now we have a composite sink attached separately to the countertops.

For this update, we ordered upper cabinets of varied depths to eliminate the straight-line front edge of the upper cabinets. Compare the old kitchen look (left) with the updated look (right).

Here’s a picture of Jimmy’s, Christian’s, Craig’s, Ted’s, and my favorite change: the LED strip lighting over the countertops. It’s gorgeous in the evenings when the random bronze-colored backsplash tiles shine softly in the light.

In addition to setting up temporary kitchen/dining areas in the basement, we had to empty all of the kitchen cabinets before the crew could begin their work.

Just like closets, you can get a lot of stuff in cabinets!

Jimmy, the company owner, sent Christian (left) and Craig (obviously, right) to start working on our kitchen on June 21. The two guys worked daily through July 16. They started by removing our old (20+ years) cabinets. The cabinets were installed from right to left, so needed to be removed in the opposite direction.

The cabinets are gone and the hardwood floor is well-protected. The kitchen looks so spacious!

When we replaced the original kitchen cabinets in our house, we put some of them in the basement to provide closed/covered storage. They are now 44 years old and definitely show their age. In our current kitchen contract, we included removing those original cabinets and replacing them with some of our current (now old) cabinets.

During this project, the guys made their mess in the garage and in the driveway, and cleaned it up every day. In the photo below, the truck is delivering the new cabinets and Christian is cutting one of our current/now old countertops to fit the new/old cabinet arrangement in the basement.

The first cabinet is installed. The wood is birch.

All of the base cabinets are installed. By doing the lower cabinets first, the guys can keep busy working on the upper cabinets while waiting for the countertops to be measured, manufactured, and installed. The island is actually four cabinets. It looks like a cabinet puzzle fitted together in this photo.

Even the interiors of the cabinets are beautifully finished.

Some of the separate cabinets for the island were built with full-length side panels. When two cabinets were placed side-by-side, this created a great place to stub toes while working at the island (left image). Fortunately, Christian had a neat little toe kick saw that could cut a square corner under the cabinet (upper right image) to allow for a continuous toe kick all the way around the island (lower right image).

Christian was at least as picky as I am about details. His level was his constant companion. Are these cabinets level by themselves as well as with each other? . . .

. . . You bet they are!

Under-cabinet lighting for all the upper cabinets was part of our design and required new electrical work. You can see the large hole in the wall and wires extending from the walls where the lights will be connected to the switch.

At this point, we ran into a problem and the guys had to pause their work for ten days while we waited for the countertops and a new cabinet to be made and delivered. Notice that rust-colored stripe of paint in the left center of the above photo. That was formerly covered by our microwave, which was mounted beneath a 24-inch long cabinet. You can also see the outline of the microwave installation template in that photo as well as the handwritten dates for each new microwave oven we installed. The delivered cabinet (short upper one, below) was only 18 inches long. Christian said he called the designer to verify the size because it seemed high to him. She verified an 18-inch long cabinet, so he installed it.

Why was that a problem? If we’d installed the microwave beneath that 18-inch cabinet, the bottom edge of the microwave would be where the top edge of the blue tape is in the photo below. The microwave cooking tray would be three inches above that line and the top edges of the cooking dishes in the microwave would be even higher. Check the blue tape line and my line of sight. I would have been unable to see whatever was in the microwave! Christian and Craig removed the 18-inch cabinet and the contractor ordered a longer one.

The mystery is why the designer planned an 18-inch cabinet for that space and why Jimmy, the boss man, who came to measure the cabinet dimensions in person didn’t catch the error either. As for Ted and me, cabinet length never came up in our design conversations, and we made the assumptions that the experts used standard lengths, and that the length of the two 24-inch long cabinets we’ve had above the microwave over the past 44 years was a standard length.

After the ten-day hiatus, work resumed on July 26 with the installation of the countertops.

After the countertops were installed (still waiting for that over-the-microwave cabinet), Christian got started on the backsplash. You can see it below on the island between the two countertop levels and to the left of the exterior door. The wall above the cabinets on the left is multi-colored because there was another problem.

After Christian and Craig installed the stove, I noticed that its back edge was more than one-quarter inch farther from the wall on the left than on the right. Even to a non-perfectionist, the stove looked like it wasn’t pushed in all the way on the left. I tried pushing it in, but it was tight against the front edge of the lower cabinets and didn’t budge. I told Christian it was going to drive me crazy to have the stove looking crooked every day for the next 20 (?) years and he agreed. He explained that he (as a fellow perfectionist) squared that line of cabinets with the line of cabinets under the window. Doing that revealed that the two walls formed a greater-than-90-degree corner. This didn’t affect the line of the cabinets, because the countertop was measured and fitted after they were installed and it fit tightly against the fronts of the cabinets and against the wall.

To compensate for the crooked wall, Christian painstakingly built up the wall surface (the dark-colored stuff) that would be behind the backsplash. When the backsplash was installed, the back edge of the stove was in parallel with the backsplash. The refrigerator covers the left edge of the backsplash, but if you move the refrigerator and examine that backsplash edge, you’ll see that there’s one-quarter inch of built-up surface material visible behind the standard backsplash trim piece. Christian is my kind of project worker!

In this photo, Craig is installing the garbage disposal and Christian is finishing up the under-cabinet lighting. He admitted it was hard on his back and he was glad to be finished with that task.

The guys worked through August 1 and then went on another hiatus and worked on other jobs. The cabinet for over the microwave had not yet arrived, and Ted and I needed to prepare for our overseas trip. The remaining upper cabinets and some finishing work were completed on October 21 after we returned home.

Most of our interior house update was completed by December 2022. In February 2023, Ted and I got serious about updating the kitchen. We updated the lighting and had the room painted in 2022, but that’s all. We had our first appointment with our kitchen designer on February 21. The planning, selection, and ordering processes took awhile, and we were finally scheduled for the professional workers to arrive on June 21.

Before giving the pros permission to demolish our kitchen, we had to set up an alternate eating and cooking space. Just like 25 years ago, that space was in the basement. We got out my old Wal-Mart craft table and some of the folding chairs we acquired in the early 1970s with grocery store trading stamps, and voilĂ ! we had a dining room.

We also needed a prep/storage area. We set that up in the shop, where we have a table with a power outlet for the microwave. We won’t have the convenience of a stove for awhile, so I cooked and froze some meals in advance. We’re going to count on the microwave and eating out until the kitchen update is functional again. We used the shop table and our wedding gift kitchen table for prepping food and for storing the things we needed while the upstairs kitchen was unavailable. The paint cans under the table are not food-related. They are waiting to be put into “new” cabinets coming from our current kitchen.

Dishwashing was a challenge, but not impossible. Since we didn’t do any big cooking projects, we didn’t have many pots or pans to wash. Our system was to scrape the dirty dishes, then stack them in the bathroom sink. A dishpan on the right worked for washing and one on the left took care of rinsing the dishes. A large cutting board on our 1972 vintage baby high chair served as a place to drain the rinsed dishes before drying them. Then we stacked the clean, dry dishes on our trading stamp card table just outside the bathroom door before taking them back to the shop and putting them in the prep/storage area. (Photographer visible in mirror.)

The crew had to pause our job for ten days while we waited for the delivery of a cabinet. It had already been five weeks since the work started, and my frozen dinner supply was running very low (i.e., gone). Fortunately, the guys were at a point at which they could connect the stove. (Still no sink or water source in the kitchen.) By then, we appreciated the luxury of having a stove and an oven. We had no countertops, so the microwave had to stay in the basement. All but two of the cabinets were installed and off the floor, so there was room for us to collapse our kitchen table and to eat beside our soon-to-be installed dishwasher. We’re moving up in the world–literally up–from the basement.

We laid some of the shelving from the yet-to-be-installed cabinets over the unfinished island to create some surface space. That made it possible for us to set things down somewhere in the room. Some 2x4s and two doors from our old cabinets covered with plastic tablecloths gave us counter space under the window and beside the stove.

Even dishwashing became a little easier. We didn’t have running water or a drain in the kitchen yet, but at least the dirty dishes could be set on the stove, washed and rinsed in our trusty dishpans, and set to dry where the future sink would be installed. Clean, dry dishes could be put on the shelf-covered island. That’s a lot more space than we had for doing dishes in the basement! We could work side-by-side and move our elbows!

All of the above was inconvenient, but not especially difficult. In fact, it worked well enough that we decided we could entertain guests. We didn’t have enough space in the kitchen yet, but we invited Kari’s family to join us for a pizza party in our basement dining room. With paper plates and cups and carry-out pizzas, it was easy and fun.

For several months, workers have been laying cables for broadband throughout our county. One day, this truck was parked on our street. It’s hard to read in the photo, but right above the orange cone, it says “We’ll be at your house in a Gigabit.”

Hallowe’en was more than a month ago, but I think this display is worth posting.

This neighborhood sign encapsulates the issue with only a few words.

Wow!  What a trip this has been!  We saw so many amazing things that it’s a little bit hard to process it all.  Recording our experiences and reviewing our photos as I wrote the 2023 BT blog posts was like re-visiting everything again, but with more time to consider it and to cherish the memories.  We don’t have a lot of photos of ourselves, but here are some that show us in places we’ve never been before.

Jerusalem, Israel

This is the restaurant we went to with two other couples on our second night in Jerusalem.  We added another couple to our group within a day or two and the eight of us sat together for dinner every evening during our time in Jerusalem and Egypt.  We all have each other’s email addresses and are keeping in touch with each other.  We also became acquainted with and knew the names of at least ten other couples during this time, so it’s fun to look at our photos and to recognize so many of the people in them as we toured together in a group.

We asked the waitress to take a picture of our group of six in the restaurant.  Her pictures didn’t turn out very well, but here’s the setting, and it should be easy to imagine six new friends enjoying a delicious dinner together in an open-air dining room on a warm summer night in Jerusalem.

Giza, Egypt

The Great Sphinx!  It was so exciting to be up close and personal with the Great Pyramids and the Great Sphinx in Giza, Egypt.

Edfu, Egypt

Sometimes, it was fun to simply relax on our ship as we sailed past the Nile River scenery.

Troy, TĂĽrkiye

Ok, the fake Trojan horse is pretty corny, but we had just toured the ruins of Troy, TĂĽrkiye, and it seemed appropriate to have a corny vacation picture.

Ephesus, TĂĽrkiye

When we had a free morning, it was relaxing to have coffee and hot chocolate in the Winter Garden on board our ocean ship before our afternoon excursion.

Kotor, Montenegro

Kotor—home of the serpentine road.  What a ride!  The views at the 25th curve were magnificent, and after lunch at a local restaurant, there was time for a few minutes of exercise on a swing.

Taormina, Sicily

We toured Taormina and heard some local legends about how to treat a man who cheats on you and how to drink wine like a Greek, then had time for a break to relax and admire the Ionian Sea.

Pompeii, Italy

Pompeii, the site of a 79 AD tragedy, was a fascinating place to tour in the shadow of Mt. Vesuvius.  Some of the things the Romans included in the infrastructure and the buildings were amazingly advanced, especially the (could be) “pizza” oven!

Pisa, Italy

Pisa is sinking and the tower is leaning.  Every day, Ted and I learned something new.  At Pisa, I learned that the Leaning Tower is a bell tower and only one structure of a religious unit including the tower, the adjacent cathedral, and the baptistry.  It was hard to take pictures because the sun shone directly at the camera.  We had to guess what we were aiming at and hope for the best.

Barcelona, Spain

Gaudi’s name is so familiar to me after seeing La Sagrada Familia and the Park GĂĽell in Barcelona that I’m not sure if I ever heard of Gaudi before this or not.  I’ll never forget him now!  How could a single person design such magnificent structures and include so much meaning in every part of those structures?!

Every time we come home from visiting new places, Ted remarks that we probably just had the best trip ever.  The same thing was true after the 2023 BT, but this one will be hard to top with the next new places we see.

After the grandeur of the Sagrada Familia and the intensity of its symbolism, it was time for something lighter.  Part 2 of our day in Barcelona was spent at GĂĽell Park.  From the park, we had this beautiful view of the Mediterranean coast and the city.

GĂĽell Park reflects Gaudi’s naturalist phase of the early 1900s.  He used organic shapes and designed new structural solutions based on geometry.  Rigidity is absent in his designs of this period.  He partnered with GĂĽell to plan a natural park.  They envisioned an organized group of high-quality homes set into the mountainside, designed for maximum comfort with an artistic touch, and furnished with the latest technological developments.  Unfortunately, this was an unsuccessful venture.  Only two houses were built, neither was designed by Gaudi, and one of the two was put up for sale but had no buyers.

The unsuccessful housing project was converted to a municipal garden, designed to bring peace and calm to visitors.  The park has some fantastically shaped buildings and a serpentine bench.  The curves on the bench create a number of enclaves to promote a more social atmosphere.  When you sit side-by-side with someone, the curves of the bench are conducive to facing each other for easy conversation.  Much of the bench design was done by a collaborator of Gaudi.

The bench is ergonomically designed and is unexpectedly comfortable, not to mention colorful.  The back of the bench is curved to fit your back.  I’m not sure what the corrugated bumps on the seat do, but when you’re sitting between them, it feels like the bench fits you.  Gaudi designed the holes in the back of the bench to drain rainwater into a pipe that transferred it to an underground cistern.  This allows for ecological watering of the gardens and also provides a supply of water for the fountains.

The main terrace is the focal point of the park.  The serpentine bench surrounds the terrace.  If you zoom in on the picture and look between the people who are standing and walking around, you can see people sitting on the bench all around the edges of the terrace.  Gaudi intended this terrace to be used for socializing and for community gatherings for the housing project residents.

These two houses are commonly referred to as the “gingerbread houses.”  Gaudi bought the larger one, moved into it with his family, and lived there from 1906-1926, when he died.  The house is now a museum.

The smaller gingerbread house has become the park gift shop.  Look closely.  There’s a lady standing at the second-floor window, apparently checking out the crowd of tourists.

The Grand Entrance Stairway, usually called the Dragon Stairway, has a twin flight of steps flanked by two walls of merlons (those post-like things pointing upward) that form terraces.  Under each terrace is a grotto. Check out the oddly-shaped roof at the top of the stairway.

Here’s the dragon of the Dragon Stairway.  It’s official name is the Park GĂĽell Lizard, but it is better known as the Dragon.  Its colors and patterns are formed by mosaic tiles.

This is one of the grottos under a terrace beside the stairway. These are the merlons visible in the first stairway picture.  The grotto was intended for use as a waiting shelter or for carriages.  

The mosaic pattern in this curved wall (merlons again–gotta love Gaudi!) was created with colored glass tiles.

The Grand Entrance Stairway leads to the Hypostyle Room.  “Hypostyle” means “supported by columns.”  Gaudi’s Hypostyle Room has 86 grooved columns.  Like trees in a forest (nature), they are not all perfectly vertical, so they create an atmosphere of movement.  The lower, light part of the columns appears to be identical on each column, but in fact, they vary in height.  To prove it, our guide walked to a column, placed her hand on her face at the top edge of the light part, and then walked to some other columns.  No two columns reached the same point on her face or body, varying by about 6-12 inches.  The Hypostyle Room was intended to be a marketplace in the housing development, but that never happened.

The mosaics on the ceiling of the Hypostyle Room represent the four seasons and the lunar cycles.

Arcades like this one are built over the footpaths in the park.  They were intended to minimize the intrusion of roads, and they echo natural forms.  They are meant to resemble tree trunks branching and meeting overhead (more nature–Gaudi’s favorite theme).

After two long tours in Barcelona, we returned to our ship just in time to grab our last Pool Grill hamburger for a late (i.e., mid-afternoon) lunch.  We love the Pool Grill burgers, so it was a treat.  The entertainment for the evening featured a local group of rumba dancers.  The music was good, and the swirly skirts were fun.

Sometimes they twirled scarves.

Near the end of the performance, the dancers selected a few audience members to rumba with them.

Ted and I have had a great trip, and we’ve seen so many amazing things and had so many wonderful experiences, that it’s hard to process all of it.  It’s been a lot of fun, but we’re ready to head for home tomorrow and to sleep in our own bed–after what we expect to be about a 26-hour travel day–if we have no significant delays.

As we rode through Barcelona this morning, we saw several interesting landmarks.

Columbus reported to Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand of Spain after his first trip to the New World, so it’s not surprising to see a monument in downtown Barcelona honoring Columbus.  It is said that the statue of Columbus is pointing toward the New World with his right hand while holding a scroll in his left.  Fact check:  The statue is facing southeast, so Columbus is more accurately pointing toward a spot near Constantine, Algeria.

This sculpture is titled “Ones,” and is located at the entrance to the harbor breakwater.  It symbolizes waves extending a welcome or a farewell to those arriving in or leaving the city of Barcelona by sea. 

Barcelona’s Arc de Triomf (Triumphal Arch) was built in 1888 and was the main access gate for the 1888 Barcelona Universal Exposition.

The highlight—and I do mean highlight—of our day today was a visit to La Sagrada Familia (The Sacred Family), a Roman Catholic minor basilica.  It is Antoni Gaudi’s masterpiece, and every part of its entire structure symbolizes the lifetime of Jesus Christ.  Areas of the sanctuary represent saints, virtues, sins, regions, etc., and the three entrances to the sanctuary–the Nativity façade (the birth of Jesus), the Passion façade (the trial, suffering, and death of Jesus), and the Glory façade (the resurrection and everlasting life of Jesus)—are intricately carved to depict those three phases of Jesus Christ’s life.  Only the Nativity façade was completed during Gaudi’s lifetime.  

Construction of the church began in 1882.  Work on the building was interrupted during the Spanish Civil War; later, it was delayed due to funding and conservation work; and in 2020, work was halted during the pandemic.  Furthermore, in 1926, it was discovered that a building permit had never been issued, so construction was briefly stopped until a permit was granted.  The building permit will expire in 2026, the most recent projected completion date, and the centenary of Gaudi’s death. 

Gaudi predicted the church would take 200 years to complete, and he never expected to live long enough to see its finished form, so he left sufficient information regarding his ideas for others to develop.  In 1926, as he was crossing a street on his way to meet with his model builder, Gaudi was struck by a tram and died.  He is buried in a crypt in the Sagrada Familia.

At the time of his death, Gaudi had completed designs for the naves and for the Passion façade, as well as a model for the sacristy dome, and he was working on designs for the crossing, the central towers, and the main façade (the Glory façade).  He also left a full model of the church.  The model was built on a 1:10 scale and was so large, you could walk inside and through it.  That made it possible for people after him to continue the work on the church.

Gaudi’s main goal for the church was to teach people about Catholicism through architecture.  For example, the three entrances to the interior represent the three virtues:  love, hope, and faith.  The 18 towers of the church are also symbolic, with 12 for the disciples, 4 for the evangelists, one for Mary, and the tallest, center tower for Jesus.  The Sagrada Familia is the second largest church in the world (St. Peters Basilica in Rome is the largest), and the Jesus Tower, at 236 feet tall, will make it the tallest church in the world.  Early in the design process for the church, a geodesist measured the tallest hill in Barcelona; then the central tower was designed to be one meter shorter than that hill because Gaudi believed no man’s work should be taller than a work of God.  Zoning laws in Barcelona now prohibit buildings taller than the Sagrada Familia.

The first glimpse of the Sagrada Familia is stunning, both for its size and for its detailed decorations.  There is an unusual piece of symbolism in the picture below.  Look for a green cypress tree (it looks like a Christmas tree) on top of the short tower in the right center of the picture.  You’ll see a flock of white doves flying around the tree, representing the tree of life which is always associated with sacred places.

This is the Nativity façade that depicts the birth of Jesus Christ, and it’s where we entered the church.  Look at the detail of the building!  To appreciate the scale of the Sagrada Familia, compare it to the size of the people at the door.

These sculpture groupings are above the doorway in the preceding photo.  The sculpture on the left is the Nativity—Mary, Joseph, and Jesus.  The center sculpture is Joseph with Jesus.  Joseph was present at Jesus’ birth, but not at his crucifixion and passion, so Joseph only appears on the Nativity façade of the Sagrada Familia.  The sculpture on the right depicts The Martyrdom of the Innocents when, following the news of Jesus’ birth, Herod the Great ordered the execution of all male children two years old and younger in the vicinity of Bethlehem.

While we were waiting to enter the church, we examined this model of the Sagrada Familia.  The gray parts indicate completed areas, but I’m not sure how current the model is.  At the time of our visit, the statues of Matthew and Luke had been placed on their towers.  Mark and John were standing in the nave.  Mark’s head was attached—an indication that workers were preparing to add the sculpture to the top of the third evangelist tower; John was still headless.  The Mary and Jesus towers were not yet finished.

Standing at the Nativity entry, you can look across the nave to the Passion entry.  The Glory entry (still unfinished) will be to the left of this picture and will serve as the main entrance to the church.

The interior dome, pictured here, was built according to Gaudi’s model.  Each of the four center columns has a lighted icon representing one of the four evangelists. 

This is a close-up of the lighted icon for Mark.

You can (barely) see the main altar and the pipe organ at the distant wall.  It’s a long way from the back of the church.  I was standing roughly halfway between the front and the back of the nave to take this picture.  Only special services are held in this area (Christmas, Easter, etc.); Sunday services are held in a smaller chapel.

Gaudi believed that nature was the source of all knowledge and inspiration, so he included nature in his designs.  He knew he would need buttresses to support the roof of the Sagrada Familia, but he hated buttresses and wanted the interior columns to resemble trees instead, as in nature.  To make this possible, he built a model of the church, including its roof, and hung ropes from the model’s roof, then used them to place and design his columns.  The columns are created in the form of tree trunks to evoke the illusion of a canopy of palm trees.  Here’s a picture of the “tree colonnade.”  With so many large, tall columns, you can’t help looking upward (to heaven?) when you’re in the building.

These are two of the large colored class windows in the nave.  Each window features different colors in different places, so the light inside the nave changes with the position of the sun during the day.

Every part of La Sagrada Familia is extremely detailed and every detail symbolizes something in the life of Jesus Christ.  The objects on these rooftops are fruits and grains to represent the bread and wine of Holy Communion.  Some of the objects resemble bananas, but a closer look shows that they are grains for bread.  (Not banana bread.)

I’m not sure what the words–Honor, Podor, and Forca–on this rooftop mean, even though I looked up the translations and found, “honor,” “can,” and “strength.”  Perhaps, given Gaudi’s devotion to God and his intent to tell the Christian story through his work, it means that with God’s help, we can live with honor, power, and strength.

The following photos are from the Passion façade.  This one portrays the Last Supper.

The figures on the right in this picture illustrate Judas’ betrayal of Jesus.  Jesus was actually shorter than Judas, but Gaudi portrayed him as taller because Jesus has more power than Judas.  If you look at the numerical plate on the wall, you’ll see that the four numbers in each row, each column, and both diagonals equal 33—Jesus’ age when he died.  (Go ahead.  You know you’re going to add them up to check.)

The sculptural grouping in this pediment depicts Jesus’ crucifixion.  Gaudi intended this façade to be gloomy and to show the cruelty of the crucifixion.  There are 18 bone-shaped pillars on this façade to symbolize those who died.  The covered space they create is meant to convey the Bosom of Abraham, a place of comfort.

The figures in the grouping below Jesus on the cross are Roman soldiers.  I don’t remember all of the symbolism, but I think the woman-like figure on the right might be Jesus’ mother, Mary, who witnessed his crucifixion.  The skull at the foot of the cross is a symbol of death and refers to Golgotha, which is known as the “mountain of skulls” and is the place where Jesus Christ was crucified.

Every detail of the Sagrada Familia is a WOW!  Our guide said she began studying the church when she was a teenager (she’s probably in her 30s), and she now gives four tours of it every day (I presume with some days off), but she still doesn’t know what everything in and on the building means.  Every detail designed by Gaudi and those who followed him has a symbolic Biblical meaning.  As the local saying goes, “Oh, my Gaudi!” 

I’m tempted to say this was the most amazing thing Ted and I saw on our 2023 BT, but then I think about other things we’ve seen, and I hear myself sounding like Ted.  After every trip we take, he says he thinks it was our best trip ever.  Then the next trip is the best trip ever, and so on.  I might be feeling the same way about all the wonderful things we saw and did on this trip.  Still, La Sagrada Familia sets a high bar for everything else and left us on a high note on the last day of our 2023 BT.

Today’s excursion was titled “Scenic Sète on Foot.” The city of Sète is set on a narrow strip of land and was right beside our ship. The tour promised us a walk along the main canal with views of the fishing fleet, the Old Port, churches, and other public buildings along the quay. After that, we’d be on our own to to shop and walk back to the ship.

Ted and I voted to skip that and to have a final day relaxing onboard the ship. Tomorrow we will arrive at Barcelona–the last port of our 2023 BT, so we started packing our things in the afternoon.

At Barcelona, our ship will turn around and head back to Istanbul, where Ted and I began our cruise. That means all passengers onboard will disembark the day after we arrive in Barcelona. In recognition of this, there was a farewell ceremony for the crew and for the passengers this evening. Ted and I attended the event so that we could thank our favorite crew members again for their wonderful service to us, and so that we could enjoy the champagne and snacks they offered in appreciation to us for sailing with them.

Dinner in one of the upscale restaurants tonight included Grand Marnier SoufflĂ©–a dessert we’d had earlier on the cruise and definitely wanted to have again. It was an enjoyable and relaxing day. Feel free to drool when you look at the picture of Grand Marnier SoufflĂ©. I’ve got to learn how to make this!

After visiting Saint RĂ©my this morning, we drove through more of the pretty countryside of Provence as we headed for the medieval stone village of Les Baux-de-Provence.

The limestone in the Alpilles mountain range has been (and continues to be) shaped by the Mistral winds.  The Alpilles are not very high mountains—the altitude of the highest peak in the range is 1,634 feet. 

Before arriving in Les Baux, we stopped for lunch at a wonderful nearby restaurant set on the mountainside.  The limestone mountain in the background is part of the Alpilles.

This was our view from the restaurant.  Our group of about a dozen people dined al fresco at a shaded table on the patio.  You can see a corner of the patio in the lower right of the picture.  The meal was so-o-o-o good.  The host and servers were very friendly, and we all had a good time. 

After our leisurely lunch, it was time to visit the stone village of Les-Baux-de-Provence.

Because of its position on an escarpment, the fortress of Les Baux protected the mountain valley and the village’s food supply.  The natural ridge on which it was built allowed the village to control all approaches to the citadel, including passage up and down the RhĂ´ne River, as well as access from the Mediterranean Sea.  As a result of its geography, the fortress of Les Baux was impregnable to the military technology of the time.

The House of Baux was one of the richest and most powerful families of medieval Provence, and is still thriving today in Naples.  The family used its name for the fortress on which they built their castle and for the stone village surrounding it.  The French word baux means “cliffs” or “escarpments” and is well-suited to this area. 

The Old Fortress is in the upper center of this photo, and you can see that it sits in a great defensive position. 

This house was one of the first buildings we passed on our way from the parking lot uphill to the fortress.  Our guide told us this is less than half of the house; the other half is cut into the rock behind it.

The left half of this photo shows the Church of St. Vincent, and so does the right half.  The left half is an extension of the original church; the original church is built into the rock on the right side of the photo.

Here’s the main altar of the church.  Much of this area is located within the rock shown in the photo above. When the morning sun shines on the eastward-facing stained-glass windows, it sends colored light into the nave.

This carved niche of St. Vincent’s Church is cut out of the mountain rock.  At Christmas, it is used to stage the Nativity.  A lamb is placed in the small cart and brought by the “shepherd” to Baby Jesus.  Merino sheep are raised in this region of France, so sheep are very important to the economy here.

In addition to carving the visible mountain rocks, the Mistral winds have shaped small caves like this, as well as larger ones, in the mountains.  La citerne means “the cistern”—a tank for storing water, especially for flushing toilets.  Maybe the restrooms were near this little cave.  (Hopefully, not in it.)

At its peak, Les Baux had about 6,000 residents; today, fewer than 300 people live there.  It is much noisier and busier today than it was in Medieval times, however, because more than 1.5 million tourists visit it each year.  That explains the large number of shops in the village.

Here are some scenes from the stone village of Les Baux.

This is a cafĂ©, but it didn’t qualify for my “tiny cafĂ©s” post because the single umbrella provides shade in the reception area while waiting for the hostess to seat you.  The cafĂ© itself is beyond the arched doorway in the left center of the photo and has a beautiful view overlooking a valley.

It was a lovely day to be outdoors, and it was interesting to walk around Les Baux.  It’s the only place I’ve ever been where all the buildings, streets, and scenery are made of rock—with the exception of a few bits of decorative greenery.

Today, our ship was docked at Marseille, France, but Ted and I chose a shore excursion to Saint-RĂ©my-de-Provence to walk “In the Footsteps of van Gogh.”  Ted and I were second-guessing ourselves about choosing this excursion, but we stuck with our plans and it turned out to be a good thing.

The village of St. RĂ©my is a place that I think would be very nice to live.  It’s attractive, has lots of small businesses, and is small enough to meet and greet friends.  Or maybe it was just a relief to be away from all those places we’ve visited that were overwhelmingly crowded.  Whatever, we had to travel through some of the countryside of Provence, a province in the southeast corner of France, to get from the dock to Saint RĂ©my.  The Alpilles Mountains are in the background.

Along the way, our guide, Corina, told us about the Mistral—a cold and dry strong wind that blows from the north along the lower RhĂ´ne River valley toward southeast France and the Mediterranean Sea.  The Mistral usually blows in winter or spring, but it can occur in any season.  Its average wind speeds are about 30 mph, but it calms at night and usually lasts for only a single day.  One of the effects of the Mistral is an unusually sunny climate in the Provence area.  St. Louis has an average of 2,600 hours of sunshine per year (I checked); Provence averages 2,700-2,900 hours of sunshine per year because of the dry, clear air left behind the Mistral.

When we arrived in Saint RĂ©my, we began our walk around the village.  It was early in the morning, and still cool in late September, so the cafĂ©s were pretty and inviting, but also closed and empty.

We toured a church in the village, but I don’t remember the name of it.  As Corina said, “If you’ve been touring in Europe, you’ve already seen a lot of churches.”  So true!  They’ve all been beautiful, but they also blur together.  The church names that Ted and I remember from our travels are those of the most unique buildings we’ve seen—and even then, we sometimes only remember the city in which we saw them.  Here are some pictures of the not-to-be-named church we visited in Saint RĂ©my.

As we walked around the village, Corina pointed out this corner apartment (on the left).  It is the birthplace and home of Nostradamus.  Nostradamus was an astrologer and a physician.  He wrote a mysterious book filled with prophecies and predictions that he published in 1555.  The book earned him fame during and after his lifetime.  He has been credited by his loyal followers for predicting pivotal historical events such as the French Revolution, the rise of Adolph Hitler, the September 11, 2001 attacks on the Twin Towers in New York City, and even the 2020 coronavirus pandemic.  According to Nostradamus, the world will end in the year 3797.  Get ready.

We walked through more of the village as we headed for the downtown area and the shops.

Not all the shops were open, but we entered one that was obviously part of the planned tour route.  The proprietor told us about Marseille soap—which she sells in her shop.  To tell the truth, Marseille soap is pretty amazing.

Just as genuine champagne can only be made using grapes grown in the Champagne region of France, genuine savon de Marseille (Marseille soap) can only be made in the Marseille region, and it must be made using the ancient and natural processing methods developed in the 1600s.  The soap is 100 percent natural and is gentle enough for bathing babies and for irritated skin.  In fact, dermatologists often recommend it to treat skin conditions such as eczema and psoriasis.  It works well on the body as a facial cleanser, make-up remover, shaving cream, shampoo, toothpaste, wound and burn treatment, and for pet soap.  Around the house, it can replace most household cleaners for cleaning surfaces and floors (even stone floors), dishwashing, and laundry, and it is also an excellent stain-remover and moth-repellent for clothing.  Surprise!  In addition to cleaning baby skin and wounds, it’s an effective insecticide and can be used as an agricultural pesticide.

To recognize authentic Marseille soap, look for the following: 

  • It has only 7 ingredients, 72 percent of which are vegetable oils, including olive oil.  The other ingredients are soda, sea salt, and fresh water.  There are no preservatives or coloring.
  • It comes in only three colors:  olive green, brown, or beige.  No dye is added, so the color comes from the oils.
  • The soap will be stamped with the logo of the Marseille soap-makers’ alliance and will always carry the words “72% HUILE (oil).” 
  • It has no additives, so there is little smell except possibly a hint of olive oil.  The light smell of olive oil dissipates when the soap is wet.
  • It is rinsed so many times that it is “extra fine” and will not cause allergies or sting your eyes when you use it.

At our bus pick-up point in Saint RĂ©my, we saw these Roman ruins.  This was originally the Mausoleum of Glanum, a monument erected between 30 and 20 BC.  Corina grew up in Saint RĂ©my and, when we passed the ruins of a Roman building (the frame of a house), Corinne told us that when she was little and on a school field trip, she visited those ruins and others around the village.  She asked her guide why the Romans never completed their buildings because she didn’t understand that what she saw was the remains of something larger.  That’s kind of how Ted and I are feeling after seeing so many ruins in such a concentrated period of time.  We might be “ruined.” (Insert groan here.)

After our time in the village, we drove to the outskirts of town to visit the psychiatric hospital of Saint RĂ©my, located in the monastery of Saint-Paul-de-Mausole.  The building still serves as a hospital, but not for psychiatric patients. Vincent van Gogh admitted himself to this hospital and spent one year in it as a patient.  Despite his unstable mental health at the time, he was very productive and completed about 150 paintings during that year.  His time in the asylum did not cure him as he had hoped it would, and he died by suicide shortly afterward.

At the entrance gate is a statue of van Gogh holding a sunflower.  He loved sunflowers and planted some in the garden behind the hospital.  I doubt if the sunflowers in my photo are those planted by van Gogh 130 years ago, but they were pretty.

As we walked from the entrance along the path to the asylum door, we passed a display of replicas of van Gogh’s paintings.  These two have always been my favorites.

“Starry Night”

“Irises”

Some of the scenes van Gogh painted were visible along the path to the building entrance.  They were set at the scene van Gogh painted, and each had an explanatory plaque that included a picture of van Gogh’s painting for visitors to compare with the current landscape.

“Olive Grove”

“The Alpilles (mountain range) with Olive Trees”

Sorry, no clouds in the sky today to match the original.

“First Steps”

“Bedroom” (This was van Gogh’s room in the hospital.)

The hospital/museum has a pretty courtyard.

Here’s a copy of van Gogh’s self-portrait.  In addition to the outdoor replicas of van Gogh’s paintings, there was a gallery of his work inside the building.

What we thought would be a ho-hum morning turned out to be a relaxing walk around a friendly village and a chance to look at beautiful art by a renowned artist. When we returned to our stateroom, we smiled when we saw a complimentary three-ounce bar of Marseille soap. Now it’s decision-making time: What shall we use it for?

One of my favorite things about traveling in Europe is the abundance of sidewalk cafés.  On our travels, Ted and I have eaten in far more outdoor cafés than indoor restaurants.  Full disclosure requires me to add that our European travels have been during the summer months, when the weather is warm.  In some places, like Chioggia, Italy the sidewalks are exceptionally wide, allowing ample space for café tables and chairs. 

Other places, however, seem to have the philosophy of “If the space is large enough for a table and chairs, it’s large enough for a cafĂ©.”  Here are some of the scrunchiest spaces in which we saw sidewalk cafĂ©s on our 2023 Big BT.

Dubrovnik, Croatia–just enough space to walk by.

Corfu, Greece–four tables for a nice conversational grouping.

Kotor, Montenegro–three cafĂ©s in this space!

Taormina, Sicily–access at the stairway landing.

Taormina again, with stair-step tables up to the next street.

Ostuni, Italy–thankfully, more tables inside.

Alberobello, Italy–winner of the smallest outdoor cafĂ© seating area we’ve ever seen.

With a total area of approximately three-fourths of a square mile (about 500 acres for the farmers out there) and a population of just over 36,000 people (2023), Monaco is the second-smallest and the most densely populated country in the world.  Only Vatican City is smaller—and it’s far less densely populated. 

Fun fact:  Monaco is tax-free because tourist money covers all government expenses.

There are four quarters in Monaco:  (1) the town of Monaco, or “the Rock” headland that includes the old town; (2) the business district; (3) Fontvieille, the newer zone; and (4) Monte Carlo, the administrative area that includes the gambling casino.  Monaco is such a small place, we were in all four quarters.

Monaco is governed by a constitutional monarchy and has been ruled by the House of Grimaldi since 1297.  Its current head of state is Albert II, prince of Monaco, the only son of Prince Rainier III and Princess Grace Kelly.  Because the head of state is a prince, the country is a principality, and not a kingdom.  Monaco is a very expensive place to live.  It’s common for property in Monte Carlo to rent at €72,000 per square meter ($7,250 per square foot), and some places cost as much as €90,000 per square meter ($97,500 per square foot),

We needed to take a tender from our ship to the dock in Monaco.  This is how our approach to the dock looked.  The building in the upper right is part of the old town atop “the Rock.”  The red brick building on the left is part of Fontvieille, the new town.

Here’s a view of the harbor from on land.  You can see how “the Rock” juts out into the water.  The white building on the Rock is the same one as the building on the right in the photo above.  We went around the Rock to disembark from the tender.

All of Monaco can be seen from the top of the Rock, so we climbed to the top.  There were some outdoor escalators at the very steep parts; the rest of the way we walked on a sidewalk like this.

As we climbed higher, beautiful views appeared.  This is another view of Fontvieilli from above.  The harbor was filled in to provide a foundation for all these newer buildings.

The photo below shows Monte Carlo as seen in publicity shots.  It’s beautiful in person!  Crowded, but beautiful.  In the right center of the photo, there is a white tower directly in front of a taller blue tower. Below that and slightly to the right, there are two relatively small green domes, about halfway between the tower and the water. (Zoom in on the photo if you can’t find them.)  That’s the famous Monte Carlo casino.  To give you an idea of the size of Monaco, the country’s border with France falls pretty much where the buildings end on the mountainsides.

The last week of May is the busiest time of the year in Monaco.  It’s the week of the superyacht show and the Monaco Grand Prix race.  During that week, it costs €150,000 ($163,000) to moor your superyacht in the harbor.  The Grand Prix is run on the narrow city streets of this area in a loop from downtown, past the casino, and back—78 times.  Our guide told us that, because of the crowds and the noise of the race, many residents leave the city during this week and rent their properties as Airbnbs.  She also mentioned that it’s kind of “a thing” to park your superyacht here that week, just to show that you can afford to do so.  I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that kind of peer pressure.

While we were walking around the city square, these classic Formula 1 cars drove by.  On the back of the last car are the words “Try Me Now” in case you’ve been dreaming of driving a Formula 1 car.

The city trolley also drove by while we were on the square.

This is the royal palace.  The flag is flying atop the tower, so the royal family is in residence in Monaco, but not necessarily in the palace itself.  According to our guide, the royal family is a part of the city and its members are well known to all.  They walk and drive around the city just like regular folks.

Monaco gained its independence in 1861 when the monks rose up and killed the country’s soldiers.  In honor of that action, a monk with a knife is a city symbol.

As we walked around the city, we saw the usual narrow streets and some nice homes.

Prince Rainier III and Princess Grace were beloved by the people of Monaco.  There are a number of statues and other things in remembrance of them around the city. 

Prince Rainier III was born on May 31, 1923, and we were there while the country was celebrating the 100th anniversary of his birth.  There were flags everywhere in the Prince’s honor.

When Ted and I saw this hedge, we thought it might be something for us to consider doing when our boxwood hedge grows a bit thicker.

Monaco’s Oceanographic Museum was founded by Prince Albert I, a pioneer of oceanography.  The Museum is renowned for its aquarium with its 90 pools that provide a home for more than 6,000 specimens and 350 species of fish.  I don’t know what type of rock covers the exterior of the museum, but our guide told us it is self-cleaning when it rains.  That sounds nice, but I couldn’t verify it, so it might be just a wishful thought.

Prince Rainier III was a lover of the sea and was concerned about protecting the environment, so he appointed Jacques Cousteau as the head of Monaco’s Oceanographic Museum in 1957.  Cousteau led the institution for 30 years.

Here’s a close-up of part of the front of the museum.  You can tell by the emptiness on the right, that we’re on top of the Rock here. The exterior of the building looks pretty clean, so maybe it rained recently.

Beside the museum is Monaco’s only national park.  It’s not large.  You can walk through it in 20 minutes—or sit on a bench and enjoy it for as long as you like.

After the park, we walked to St. Nicholas Cathedral, the church where Prince Rainier and Princess Grace were married, attended services, and were buried.

This is the nave of the church.

These chairs are in the front of the nave, close to the pulpit.  They are where the royal family is seated for services.  I guess it it’s pretty obvious if they skip church–or if they fall asleep during the sermon.

The tombs in the church include the relics of bishops and VIPs in the order of their deaths, so Princess Grace and Prince Rainier are the last two tombs.  Two tombs are always left empty in case of an unexpected death.  Most of the princely Grimaldi family is buried in this cathedral, from Jean II Grimaldi, who died in 1505; to Grace Kelly, who died in an automobile accident in 1982; and Rainier III, who passed away in 2005.  You can see that people still put flowers on the Prince and Princess’s tombs.

As Ted and I were walking around the city eating ice cream cones, I saw this parking sign.  Isn’t it a great idea to inform drivers how many parking places are available so they don’t have to face repeated disappointments driving from lot to lot?

Monaco was a beautiful place to visit on a beautiful day.  Ted and I have been lucky with weather on our 2023 BT.  The only rain we had was in Athens, and it was dry during the hours we visited the Parthenon and the other buildings on the Acropolis.  I guess we’re living right.  I know for sure our life is good.

I like remembering the things that make us smile when we travel. I previously posted some amusing things we’d seen. Here are some things we heard that made us laugh.

While we were in Naples, our guide pointed out two different law enforcement uniforms—the polizei (local police) and the carabinieri (military police).  In general, she said, people don’t like the carabinieri, so they make up jokes about them.  Here’s one:

A trained monkey (polizei) and an astronaut (carabinieri) are sent into space on an experimental flight to see how well the monkey can do.  Instructions appear on the screen and are directed at the monkey, telling it to press the red button, then turn left.  The monkey does it and the vehicle turns left.  The next instructions appear and tell the monkey to press the red button, then the green button, then the thrusters.  The monkey does it and the thrusters engage.  After a series of instructions come for the monkey, the astronaut sends a message to mission control and asks when he will have a chance to do something.  Mission control replies, “Be quiet and feed the monkey.”

************

The Viking crew member who gave the daily “port talk” describing the next day’s port highlights and the shore excursions ended every presentation with a joke.  Here are two of them.

The son of a godfather brings his report card home from school and shows it to his dad:  Reading—A+; Science—A+; Geography–B+.  The godfather looks at the report card and reaches for his gun, then shoots his son.  The mother is distraught and crying and asks, “Why did you shoot him?”  The godfather answers, “He knew too much.”

************

Walter and Mary go to the county fair and, every year, Walter tells Mary he wants to take the helicopter ride.  Mary says, “No, it’s $400, and $400 is $400,” so they don’t ride.

The helicopter pilot overhears Walter and Mary and approaches them.  He says, “I’ll give you a ride at no cost on one condition:  you can’t say a word.  If you say anything, the deal is off.”  Walter and Mary agree and get onboard.

Walter gets into the front seat beside the pilot and buckles up while Mary gets settled in the back seat.  The pilot takes them up and starts doing tricks with the helicopter, then moves on to death-defying tricks, but neither Walter nor Mary makes a sound.   When they land, the pilot says, “You’re amazing.  I did everything I could to make you scream and you never made a sound.”

“Well, to tell you the truth, ” says Walter, “I almost said something when Mary fell out of the helicopter, but $400 is $400.”

************

At the end of one of our excursion in Saint-Remy-de-Provence, while several of us were chatting with our guide, Corina, she laughingly said, “When I conduct tours at the start of a cruise, everyone is tired because they’re jet-lagged; at the end of a cruise, everyone is tired because they’re exhausted.”

As Ted and I rode our tour bus to Pisa, we saw these mountains—the Apuan Alps.  Our guide told us that the white areas are marble, not snow.  This is where the famous Carrara marble comes from. Michelangelo used Carrara marble, and it’s used in construction around the world.  Imagine mountains that are white rock when you dig instead of brown or gray.

A little bit later, we crossed the Arno River where some kayakers looked like they were preparing for a race.

Until we signed up for this excursion, I always thought the Leaning Tower of Pisa was a solitary icon.  In truth, I never gave it much thought unless I saw a picture of it.  Now I know it’s a bell tower and is only one of four structures in Pisa’s Cathedral Square.  The other three structures are the Baptistry, the Cathedral, and the Campo Santo (Holy Field, a cemetery).  Three other buildings stood on this site before the current Cathedral was built in 1118, but they were torn down because they had been erected by previous conquerors. The entire complex is within the Old City walls. In the picture below, the Baptistry is in front, then the Cathedral, and then the Bell (Leaning) Tower in the background (center right). The Campo Santo is the low building on the left.

This is the Baptistry.  Baptistries are always round or octagonal to symbolize “everlasting.”  The octagonal shape also recalls the eighth day, when Christ rose and loosened the bondage of death for Christians.  It is the building in which baptisms take place and in which catechumens are instructed.  The entrance to the baptistry always faces the entrance to the church to symbolize that baptism is the means to enter the church.

We were visiting Pisa on a Sunday, and there was a baptism taking place.  You can see the priest near the door, and the lady on the left is carrying the baby to be baptized.  You can see part of the baby’s flowing white baptismal dress and its little bald head. 🙂

The Cathedral is very impressive.  Sunday services were being held, so we were not able to go inside, but pictures I’ve seen online since then show a beautiful interior.

Someone in our group asked the purpose of the scaffolding covering one wing of the Cathedral.  Our guide said that some part of the Cathedral is always being repaired or cleaned.  This wing is currently being cleaned so the marble will be brightly white again.

The Pisa Cathedral, like most other marble buildings at the time, was built with recycled marble from older Roman buildings.  This was done partly because the people didn’t have any money to spare, but also partly to show that the polytheistic religion of the Romans was gone and powerless and that Christianity was stronger.

This piece of recycled marble was part of a sarcophagus.

Another random piece had a decorative rose on it.

Because Caesar’s name was on this piece of recycled marble, it was placed upside-down to show that Caesar was no longer in power in Pisa.

This sculpture on the ground near the Cathedral is called the Fallen Angel.

The most iconic building in Cathedral Square is, of course, the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  It has seven floors in all, plus the bell chamber with its seven bells—one for each of the notes in the musical scale.  The shoreline of the Tyrrhenian Sea (part of the Mediterranean) used to be here, but silt deposits have moved the shoreline 5 miles away from Pisa.  Because of this sandy foundation, all the buildings in Cathedral Square lean.  Yes, the Cathedral and the Baptistry too.

The Leaning Tower started sinking while the second floor was under construction.  By 1990, the tower was leaning 5.5 degrees and the high side was 2.8 feet higher than the low side.  After the abrupt collapse of another leaning tower (the Civic Tower of Pavia, 1989), work began to make Pisa’s tower safer.  The high side was counterweighted with steel plates, and steel cables were used to harness the tower to prevent it from falling during the drilling. 

Drilling was done to place tubes under the tower, and soil was carefully removed through the tubes, gradually creating a basin beneath the tower.  The soil was removed at the rate of about a bag of sugar per day to avoid overstressing the tower.  The tower gradually dropped into the basin as the digging progressed.  Work continued until the tower was straightened about 20 inches to a 4-degree lean.  It is expected to be safe for another 100-200 years.  Or so the engineers hope.

The Leaning Tower has survived four major earthquakes since 1230, because it sits on such soggy, soft soil. Because the building is rigid and the soil is soft, the tower doesn’t resonate with earthquake ground movements. The anomaly of the situation is that the same soil causing the tower to sink is the soil that helps it survive.

Here’s proof that Ted and I visited Pisa.

The Leaning Tower is ornately decorated, just like the Cathedral and the Baptistry.  This is the entrance if you want to climb to the top.  It costs €25 to do that.  The Leaning Tower can be described as a column of columns.  There is a second cylinder inside the structure.  The 251 stairs to the top are very narrow and there are no landings at which to rest and no windows to look outside.  Once you begin to climb, there is no room to turn around or to change your mind, and the people farther back continually urge those ahead of them to keep moving.

The line waiting to climb to the top of the Leaning Tower was already long at 10:15 a.m..  Forty people per hour are allowed to enter the tower to make the climb.  Ted and I guesstimated about 200-250 people in line.

These people made it to the top.  You don’t get to ring the bells when you arrive.

The fourth building in Cathedral Square is the Campo Santo, or the Holy Field.  It is a rectangular building with a grassy quadrangle in its center.  The Holy Field, a cemetery, includes a shipload of soil (about 600 cubic feet) from Golgotha, the site of Jesus’ crucifixion.  Legend says that bodies buried in the Holy Field rot in 24 hours.  This cemetery is still in use today, but only popes, bishops, cardinals, priests, and VIPs (i.e., nobles and rich people) may be buried here.

When we returned from Pisa, Ted and I had time to walk around Livorno (our port of call) for a little while.  We saw the Old Fortress of Livorno in which (according to the sign) the ceremony proclaiming Livorno a city took place in 1606.

This sculpture is called the Quattro Mori (the Four Moors).  The statue at the top of the pedestal is Ferdinando I de’Medici, the Grand Duke of Tuscany.  Ferdinano I’s father created the Order of Knighthood of St. Stephen to protect the Tuscan seas.  Ferdinando I strengthened the fleet and defeated the pirates, known as “mori.”  This sculpture celebrates the victories of the Knights over the pirates on the Barbary Coast in 1607 and over the Turkish fleet in 1608.

There is a plaque near this sculpture that says it is possible to see the noses of all four pirates if you stand at a certain place.  The place was not identified, but I found it.

After our walk, Ted and I returned to our ship for dinner and departure to our next destination:  Monte Carlo.