Ted’s and my ancestors are all gone. Aunt Ruth, my mom’s youngest sister, died in May. She was the last of Ted’s and my aunts and uncles. She and her husband, Uncle Ken, were always my favorite aunt and uncle, and Ted adopted them as his favorites as well. When Ruth announced her engagement to Ken, I think I was about 10 years old, and I thought it was so-o-o-o romantic. Ken was movie-star handsome–just what a pre-teen girl loves to dream about. Ken and Ruth were a perfect couple and were always fun to be with. Ted and I tried to visit them every year at their “base” in Wisconsin. One time, we visited them in Del Rio, TX, where they wintered for many years; other times, they stopped at our house when they traveled with their motor home. When Ken died at the age of 98 in 2023, Ted and I were in Greece, so we couldn’t attend the funeral. We were grateful to be able to attend Ruth’s funeral.

Ruth and Ken’s children–David, Lara, and Linda–made her funeral a celebration. It sounds weird, but that was the most joyful funeral/celebration of life I’ve ever attended. Linda hosted a dinner and evening for all the cousins on Ruth’s side of the family the night before the funeral. Three of the cousins live too far away to attend (Florida, Arizona, Washington), and two were unable to be there for the evening, but attended the funeral the next day. While we cousins were growing up, we lived close enough together to see each other frequently. Like lots of post-World War II families–we were all born to fathers who served in the military during the war, and we were all close in age (baby boom!). In fact, three of us were born within 10 months of each other. We visited each others’ families, played together, and knew each other well. After we grew up, we all moved away from our grandparents’/parents’ homes, but we see each other now and then and keep in touch–especially the Girl Cousins. I can’t, however, remember the last time so many of the cousins were together in the same place at the same time. Linda’s dinner was delicious, and there was lots of laughter, catching up with each other, and telling stories about Ruth and Ken. It was a wonderful evening, and we all hated to leave.

Lara gave the eulogy to Ruth at the funeral, and even that was happy. She told the history of Ruth and Ken, beginning with both versions (Ruth’s and Ken’s) of their first date. According to Ruth, she was enjoying a drink after bowling and Ken came over to her, addressed her by name, and asked her for a date. She’d noticed him trying to get her attention on several other occasions, and thought, “I might as well get it over with and go out with him once.” When she asked how he knew her name, he said, “It’s on your bowling shirt.” According to Ken, Ruth had been flirting with him for awhile and he thought he might as well get it over with and ask her out. Pick your own version of the truth.

Lara also talked about the family history: the places Ruth and Ken had lived, the births of their kids, their community activities, the social groups they formed, the activities they enjoyed–mostly dancing–and family anecdotes. It was interesting and joyful to hear all those stories. We had more cousin catch-up time at the church luncheon after the funeral.

We were all excited about being together and took lots of pictures at Linda’s house and at the funeral. I’m posting them here, not because any of my readers knows my cousins well, but because I enjoyed seeing all of them so much. Here are the Lorenzen family cousins with their spouses in Linda’s back yard. Left to right: Joan/Steve, Linda/Tim, Donna/Larry, Judi/Jon, Lara/Jim, Bev/David, me/Ted.

These are seven of the twelve cousins: Linda, Steve, Donna, Judi, Lara, me, David.

Naturally, we women needed a picture of the Girl Cousins. Nancy couldn’t be here.

The first person to greet me when Ted and I arrived at Linda’s house was my brother, Steve. Although we are regularly in touch with each other, I can’t remember how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other in person.

These are Ruth and Ken’s children: David, Linda, and Lara.

David and Bev met in a baby swimming pool. Their parents were (and remained) close friends and, eventually, David and Bev decided they were MTB–meant to be.

Here’s Jim, Lara’s husband. I didn’t realize until I went through the photos we all shared with each other that none of us took a picture of Jim with his wife, Lara. He’s with her in the group photo, above.

Jim and Lara’s daughter, Bailey, brought her boyfriend, Mark, to the gathering.

The young kids (left) look bored, but I think the photo as a whole gives off the vibe that we all felt, relaxing together after dinner and sharing family stories on Linda’s patio on a warm summer evening.

The following day, after the funeral and the church-provided lunch, Donna took pictures of cousin couples–again, everyone except Lara and Jim. How did we miss them?

Jake, Jim and Lara’s son, and Brooke were married two weeks after Aunt Ruth’s funeral.

Mike and Linda were not able to join us Friday night, but we sat with them at lunch and caught up. Mike is Donna’s brother.

When Donna finished, I offered to take a picture of her and Jon.

Here are Judi and Larry, . . .

. . . Steve and Joan, . . .

Tom and JoEllen (they were also unable to be with us Friday evening), . . .

. . . my brothers, Tom and Steve, . . .

. . . and Ted and me.

As I mentioned earlier, this was the most joyful end-of-life celebration I’ve ever attended. Aunt Ruth and Uncle Ken were a big part of the lives of my cousins, my brothers, and me, and we will all miss them greatly, but the joy of sharing so many happy memories of the two of them was a very healing thing for all of us. Ruth and Ken loved to dance–and they were good at it. As Lara said, “Now they’re dancing together again.”