20 pi jokes and puns, just for the fun of pi.

1  3.14% of sailors are pi-rates.

2  Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.

3  Come to the nerd side. We have pi.

4  Simple as 3.141592…

5  The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference. He ate too much pi.

6  The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.

7  What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter? Moon pi.

8  What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert? Apple pi.

9  What is the official animal of Pi Day? The pi-thon.

10  A pizza has a radius z and thickness a. Its volume is pizza (or pi*z*z*a)

11  What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pi!

12  The mathematician says, “Pi r squared.” The baker replies, “No, pies are round. Cakes are square.”

13  Just saw American Pi. I gave it a rating of 3.14.

14  In Alaska, where temperatures get below freezing, pi is only 3.00. After all, everything shrinks in the cold.

15  What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter? Pi in the sky.

16  How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie? 3.14.

17  What do you get when you cut a jack-o’-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

18  What is 1.57? Half a pie.

19  What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into? 3.14.

20  How many calories are there in that slice of chocolate pi? Approximately 3.14.

 

Thanks, Grammarly.

Not only is it Hallowe’en today, but it is also National Knock Knock Joke Day.  What a joyous cause to celebrate!  Here’s a un-knock knock joke:

Knock, knock.

Come on in; the door’s open.

And another one, just to make the celebration last longer.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ya.

Ya who?

I’m excited to see you too.

Happy Knock Knock Joke Day to all.

I’m reading a pseudo-detective novel and its text is liberally sprinkled with amusing sentences that make me smile.  My knowledge of French is extremely limited, but I’m pretty sure I know what this means and it made me laugh out loud.

After twelve years employed as a sewer engineer for Hydro-Québec, Huck had acquired a faint, but persistent, “l’air du poop” that wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he showered nor how many gallons of Old Spice that he put on.

Who to vote for?  Who to vote for?  This is a little late, but it’s too good to ignore.

So close to the truth!

The candidates could have been Jim Henson’s models.  Top -> bottom:  Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, Ted Cruz.

I needed some labels, and I keep a started sheet in the in/out box on my desk.  I couldn’t find the labels, which are usually near the top of the pile, so I pulled out the entire pile and started going through it.  It’s no big shock that I ended up going through the whole pile–might as well clean it out while I’m at it–and I found a few things that made me smile.  Among them, some old birthday cards that I saved.

Here’s one from Tom and Jo.  A literary masterpiece, no doubt.

50 Shades

Then there was one from Jeff’s family.  It’s so “Jeff,” isn’t it?

Universal remote

And finally, I found one from Gary.  This is from way back when my car was new.  You got it right, Gary!

My convertible

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Or . . . think of three other friends who might be more unbalanced than the first three.

Outside of a book, a dog is man’s best friend.  Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

–Groucho Marx