BLFC stands for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. The contest began in 1982 as the “misbegotten brainchild” of a professor at San Jose State University who was “sentenced” to write a seminar paper on a minor Victorian novelist. Contest entrants are challenged to compose “an atrocious opening sentence to the worst novel never written.” The sentence must be original and previously unpublished. There is no limit to the length of the sentence, but the panel of “undistinguised judges” suggests 50-60 words. Entries (usually on postcards) are accepted every day of the year and the winners (grand prize, winner, dishonorable mention) are announced in mid-August. The results are made public on national and international media. Here are some of the winners I enjoyed.

The Grand Prize winner receives an “absolute pittance–and bragging rights.”

This is a Children’s Literature winner.

This was a winner in the Romance category.

Here’s a Dishonorable Mention in the Adventure category, probably written by an English major.

This is another Adventure Dishonorable Mention.

And, finally, a Children’s Literature Dishonorable Mention.

You can find winning entries as far back as 1996 at www.bulwerlytton.com–where “www” means “wretched writers welcome.”